It is difficult to not be anxious about the future with global warming, dictatorships tyrannical, and endless violence.
In all of this uncertainty, there is only one type of person who can make it through every day: a calm person.
Like any other skill, being calm can be learned and mastered.
They may lose their calm from time to time, and they have their share of emotional turmoil. However, they can quickly return to a state of constant peace within themselves. It takes practice.
These 12 lessons can help you avoid letting your surroundings take over.
1. calm personality lives in the moment
Regardless of how worried we are, the future will still come.
People often have a painful past.
They want things to be different.
These emotions are not healthy for the mind or body.
It is impossible to go back in history or predict the future.
A calm person can return to the present by appreciating the things they have and the people they meet.
Annie Dillard wrote that “How we spend the days is, of all things, how we live our lives“.
A calm person can return to the present and take control of their life.
They can follow the flow but they also have a plan for their next steps.
2. Calm personality take it slow
We move from one meeting to another, call to call, action to act without ever thinking about what the next step will be.
Speed has been often equated to overall productivity and effectiveness at work.
However, this can lead to increased burnout and dissatisfaction.
Slowing down allows one to be more thoughtful in their actions.
A calm person is not in hurry.
They are patient with themselves and others.
Sometimes they prefer to walk to their destination.
It can help them clear their minds and give them some breathing space away from the endless stream of notifications and assignments.
3. calm personalities are kind to themselves
It’s easy for us to get mad at ourselves when we make mistakes. We feel we are deserving of some sort of punishment.
This leads to a subconscious belief that we are not worthy of feeling relaxed or good.
Calm is a person who is calm and can be patient with others.
They will make mistakes, but they are still human beings.
However, they are kinder to each other than stricter.
They are able to recognize their limits, both physical and emotional.
A calm person will choose to get the rest that they need, rather than burning midnight trying to complete more assignments.
They eat healthy food and eat in moderation.
4. calm personality Search for Compromises
Some people may have black-and-white views about the mindset of others (“You’re either for me or against me!”), or make decisions (“It’s either everything .”).
This way of seeing the world could cause undue stress, and even break relationships.
Aristotle, a Greek philosopher, developed “The Golden Mean”, an ethical principle that explains how we act when faced with constant decisions.
It says that in any decision we make, we always have 2 options available — the extremes.
We either overreact, or we underreact.
The middle is always the best place to find the best solution.
The compromise is almost a win-win situation when the calm person agrees to it.
5. They don’t worry about the future
Basketball All-Star Michael Jordan once stated, “Why would you worry about a shot I haven’t taken yet?”
He and the Chicago Bulls are among the most iconic basketball players of our time because of their ability to focus on the moment, the feeling of the ball in their hands and the play of it.
Calm people don’t waste their energy worrying about the future.
They realize that the outcome of a project is beyond their control after putting in so much effort.
It doesn’t matter if it’s rated as a good, poor, value-adding, or complete waste. All they know is that they did their best at the moment.
6. Failure doesn’t bring them down
Life is full of ups and downs. This is a fact we all know. There will be challenges at work and in our personal lives.
Lay-offs, rejections, and splits are all part of life. There is no perfect life.
Epictetus, the Greek Stoic philosopher, once stated, “It is not what happens to me, but how I react to it.”
Unpredictability is a part of life. These failures can be a part of our lives, or we can learn from them and move on.
A calm person can let the events pass and still remain strong.
They have no expectation of the future that will avoid disappointment.
They adapt to whatever happens and are flexible. They see failures as lessons that they can learn from while they grow.
7. They use their time wisely
There has never been a second of your time that money could buy back.
Because we cannot get more of it, it is our most valuable resource.
This is something that not many people realize. They spend their time doing things they don’t enjoy because they have seen others do it.
A calm person knows what is important and what is not.
It is possible to find peace by focusing on the important things and removing the excess.
8. They see things for what they are
Ryan Holiday writes in The Obstacle is The Way that changing one’s perceptions of obstacles is the first step in seeing opportunities.
He gives an example to illustrate how events don’t have to be bad. We just have to make them so. He wrote that the sentence “It occurred and it’s terrible” is split into two parts.
It is subjective. It’s objective. It’s objective. “It’s not good” is subjective.
Our thoughts and emotions are often what color our world. Events can be interpreted in many ways.
A calm person can see things as they are.
9. They know what’s best for them
It can be hard to say “No” when we are friends.
It’s a fear that it might make us look bad or that we are boring and not fun.
However, when we say yes, we feel that something is wrong and we would rather stay at home to work on our novel than go to a party.
Calm people won’t waste their time on things they don’t value.
Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and Stoic Marcus Aurelius, had a habit of asking himself “Is it necessary?”. This was a question that many people forget to ask.
10. They are approachable
Calm people don’t have anything to prove, they are at peace with their own actions.
They are present in the moment, even when they’re having a conversation.
They are open-minded and friendly, generous and ready to solve other people’s problems.
It’s not uncommon for people to struggle to get a word in group conversations.
Calm people ensure that all voices are heard and that everyone is a part of the conversation.
They can spread the peace they already have and encourage it.