Happy again No matter what the reason for your sadness is, you want to be happy again.
Perhaps you feel unhappy with how life is treating your right now. Or, you are frustrated by the outcome of life. All you want is a way to escape the pain and hurt. You are not the only one.
Happiness is often something people don’t believe can be achieved.
Human life is full of pain and discomfort. Sometimes it seems that we just can’t make it through.
You can make a difference if you feel lost or full of sadness instead of joy.
You won’t find happiness if you don’t look after yourself. It is not in a beer glass or in the arms and hands of someone else.
Happiness is something that comes from within. This is why so many people find it difficult to believe in.
Although we believe that people and things make us happy, the truth is we can make our own happiness.
Here’s how. These are the 17 essential steps that will bring you happiness again.
1) Identify the date and time of the change.
To get back to happiness, the first step is to find out if you’ve ever been truly happy.
If you are able to affirm that you were happy at some point, then you must determine what happened and how it changed.
Was there a moment of breakthrough for you? Was there a change at work? Was your spouse divorced? Did you get into debt? Did you wake up and feel like a failure?
It is important to understand when your life has changed.
Bronnie Ware, the author of The Top Five Regrets of Dying, reported that regrets at the end are common.
This shows that people can feel happy if they let themselves do the things that make them happy.
Lisa Firestone, Ph.D. from Psychology Today says that “many of our self-denying tendencies are greater than we realize.”
Many of us think that engaging in activities that “light up” is irresponsible or seflish.
Firestone says that this “critical inner voice” is activated when we “take steps forward”. It reminds us to “stay put and not venture outside of our comfort zones.”
You can confidently state that you have never felt happy in your life. This is a sign that you must let go of that negative belief and allow yourself to be happy.
2) Don’t fake it.
Next, don’t try to fake happiness. It is easy to fake happiness until you realize it isn’t real. We are here to help you find real happiness.
Happiness does not mean being happy all the time. There are ups and downs in life, so it is important to not try to be happy all the time.
According to Noam Spencer, PhD, in Psychology Today, the main cause of many psychological problems can be found in the practice of emotional avoidance. This “buys you short-term gain at the cost of long-term pain.”
Being alive is the privilege of feeling all the emotions and having all the thoughts that humans can conjure.
You can’t live your life fully if you try to suppress all the emotions that you have as a person.
Happiness is only one piece of the puzzle. But it’s an important one. So don’t fake happiness. It is worth waiting.
3) Take responsibility
Are you willing to take responsibility for making things right if you are unhappy?
I believe that taking responsibility is the most powerful quality we can have in life.
You are responsible for all that happens in your life. This includes your happiness, unhappiness and successes, as well as your failures and successes.
Let me briefly tell you what made it possible for me to finally take control and get out of the “rut” that I was trapped in.
I learned to use my own power.
We all possess incredible power and potential, but we don’t tap into it. We get stuck in self-doubt or limiting beliefs. We stop doing the things that bring us true happiness.
Ruda Iande, a shaman, taught me this. His work has helped thousands align their love, family, spirituality, work and religion so that they can unlock their personal power.
His unique approach combines ancient shamanic techniques and modern-day methods. This approach is based on your inner strength and not any gimmicks.
Because empowerment must come from within.
Ruda shows you how to create the life that you have always wanted. He starts by taking responsibility and acknowledging your potential.
If you are tired of living in frustration and dreaming but never realizing your goals, or living in self-doubt then you should read his life-changing advice.
4) What’s blocking your way?
To find your happiness and live the full range of human experience, you must first determine what is preventing your happiness.
It is possible to be tempted to point fingers at someone else. It could be your job, your lack of money, your childhood, or the education you received because your mother recommended it to you 20 years ago. None of this is true.
This is the one you are trying to get in your own way.
As we have already mentioned, “happy people” aren’t always “happy”.
Rubin Khoddam, PhD says that “Nobody is immune” to stressors in life. But the question is whether those stressors are moments of opposition or opportunities.
Although it can be hard to accept, you will find the path forward much easier once you realize that you are the only one who is preventing you from happiness.
There are many definitions of happiness. What’s yours?
5) Be kind to yourself
You need to be kind to yourself as you go along this journey. It is easy to get down on ourselves and say that there is nothing good enough.
According to the Harvard Health Blog, gratitude is strongly and consistently linked with greater happiness.
“Gratitude can help people feel more positive emotions and enjoy good experiences. It also helps them deal with adversity and build strong relationships.
As you practice gratitude, you will see the many things in your life worthy of your attention. This will allow you to work towards creating happiness in your own life and that of others.
It is important to be kind to yourself. This doesn’t necessarily mean taking a bath in bubbles or buying new clothes. However, it does help to be kind to yourself.
It is about being kind to yourself and allowing yourself to make decisions for yourself.
Gratitude isn’t just a hippy-dippy thing that people do to look cool. Gratitude can make a huge difference in your life.
Even if the cards are against you, how you approach them can make the difference between a happy and miserable life.
Being grateful will help you be happier in your life.
It is important to be grateful for difficult or uncomfortable times.
There are lessons to be learned from every facet of life. When you allow yourself to experience them fully, it will help you get where you want to go.
(You can read my ebook on Buddhism and eastern philosophy to help you love yourself and increase your self-esteem to live a happier life.
6) Decide What Happiness Looks Like for You.
Rubin Khoddam PhD states that no matter where you are in the happiness spectrum, everyone has their own definition of happiness.
Many of us chase other people’s definitions and definitions of happiness. You must define what happiness looks like for yourself in order to find it again.
The problem is that we often try to live up to the ideals of our society or parents, but it can be difficult.
This can cause a lot of unhappy as we realize that not everything is what we want.
Then, we must be courageous as we take control of our lives and decide to make things happen for ourselves.
How do you envision your life? This is what you need to know.
7) Allow difficult things to be part of your life.
Keep in mind that not all life is rainbows and butterflies. Rainbows only come after it rains. Caterpillars undergo a dramatic transformation to become butterflies.
To find the sun, one must struggle.
It’s not enough to wake up and be happy. We have to put in the work and strive for it.
If you are open to the possibility of suffering in your life, and not try to dramatize it, you can make the best of every situation and grow from them.
Kathleen Dahlen, a San Francisco psychotherapist, said that there’s no need to feel bad about feeling bad.
She believes that accepting negative emotions is an important habit, called “emotional fluency.” This means feeling your emotions without attachment or judgment.
This will allow you to learn from difficult situations or emotions and use them or move forward from them.
We often forget how terrible the rain was once we see the rainbow, or the result our struggles.
People looking for happiness are eager to find it faster. However, they don’t want to be uncomfortable and learn about themselves.
People who have lived through the fire are happy.
We can’t live happy lives in bubbles, insulated from the pain and hurt of being human.
To be happy, we must feel everything as human beings.
Besides, you can’t know when you’re happy if you don’t feel sad.
(To learn more about mindful techniques that help you live in the moment and accept your emotions, download my eBook The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide for Living in the Present.
8) Practice mindfulness.
The American Psychological Association (APA) defines mindfulness as “a moment-to-moment awareness of one’s experience without judgment”.
Research has shown that mindfulness may reduce rumination, and stress, increase working memory, focus, and emotional reactivity and improve relationship satisfaction.
Happy people are aware of their own behaviour and how it affects others.
They know that they have control over what happens and how the world is interpreted.
They spend a lot of time being aware of their surroundings and the choices they have in life.
They are often too easy to be victimized and aren’t content with being let off the hook when it gets tough.
Mindfulness can unlock a whole new world of possibilities for you in your daily life.
This is because mindfulness has had a profound impact on my life.
If you didn’t know it, six years ago, I was anxious, miserable and working every day at a warehouse.
My turning point was when I began to study Buddhism and Eastern Philosophy.
My life was forever changed by what I learned. I learned to let go of all the things that were holding me back and to live fully in the present.
To be clear, I am not a Buddhist. I don’t have any spiritual inclinations. I am just a normal guy who discovered eastern philosophy when he was feeling down.
You can transform your life the same way that I did. Check out my no-nonsense guide on Buddhism and eastern philosophy.
This book was written for one reason:
I was overwhelmed by the complexity of Buddhist writing when I first came across it.
This book was not able to distil all of this wisdom in an easy-to-follow manner with practical strategies and techniques.
This book was my first attempt at writing it. It’s the one I would have loved to read when I started.
Here is a link to my book.
9) Believe that you can be happy.
To find your happiness again, the most important thing is to believe you can be happy.
It may look very different than you imagine. However, you can start this journey with a fresh outlook and new goals for your life.
It is possible, but you have to believe it. You will never be happy if you keep telling yourself you won’t ever be happy again.
All that you desire in life is yours, but you must believe it. Nobody can make you happy.
Happiness is not a thing, an experience, a purchase, or any other object. You can make yourself happy if you believe it.
Jeffrey Berstein, PhD in Psychology Today says that trying to find happiness beyond yourself is a mistake as “happiness based upon achievements doesn’t last long.”
10) Don’t rush your way through life.
Beauty is all in the eyes of the beholder. However, you won’t see it if you rush through your life.
Research shows that “rushing” can lead to depression.
However, studies show that having nothing to do can take its toll.
The balance is achieved when you live a productive and comfortable life.
It’s essential to set goals but not be too hurried to achieve them. This causes us to waste so much time and prevents us from enjoying the journey.
Happy people are able to feel their way through life, and allow the bad and the good to seep into them. This allows them to experience the full human experience.
It’s not just old-time advice that makes you happy, but real-life advice that can make you happier.
11) Develop close relationships.
While you don’t necessarily need to have a lot of close friends, you do need at least a few people who care and can help you get up when you fall.
It could be your spouse, your parents, or a neighbour.
A few close friends can make you happier, improve your quality of life, and help you live longer.
How many friends are there?
According to Finding Flow, there are approximately five close relationships.
National surveys show that people who claim to have at least 5 friends with whom they can talk about important issues are 60% more likely to report being very happy.’
But maybe the number doesn’t matter as much as how hard you work to build your relationships.
Everyone needs someone to remind them that they are not alone and to make us smile when things go wrong.
People who are happy have someone to count on. They feel secure and safe knowing they can rely on their loved ones in times of need and celebrate their successes when they occur.
Connection makes for a happier life. Don’t go on your own journey to happiness if you want to find it.
Although we can travel the world by ourselves, it is much more enjoyable to share our precious time with others, doing things that bring us joy.
We feel secure when we surround ourselves with people we love and are loved by.
Feeling safe makes it easier to let go of problems, is less likely to allow drama to take over and more inclined to see the positive in others.
We feel secure and protected by a trusted circle.
12) Don’t buy things, but experiences.
It is possible to feel compelled to visit your local mall when things are getting tough.
Is it really a way to make people happy?
You might be able to get a quick fix of pleasure but the joy that comes from purchasing things won’t last.
Thomas Gilovich is a Cornell University psychology professor who has been studying the effects of money on happiness since 1992. Gilovich states that adaptation is one of the greatest enemies of happiness.
We purchase things to make ourselves happy. However, this is only temporary. We are initially excited by new things, but we then adapt to them.”
Spend money on experiences if you have the desire to spend money. See the world. You can live your life on trains, planes, and car that takes you to nowhere.
Gilovich says that our experiences are more important than our material goods. It is possible to really love your material possessions.
Even though you may think they are a part of your identity, they still remain apart from you. Your experiences are, however, part of you. Our experiences make up our whole.
Explore other parts of the world and discover what it is like to live there. Spend as much time as you can in parks and on challenging walks, as well as by the sea.
These are the places where you will find happiness. Not the mall.
13) Do not rely on others or other people to make you happy.
It is not your job to make you happy. You are making yourself miserable at your job if you’re miserable at work.
Happy people realize that there’s more to life than the work they do and that the money they earn doesn’t make them feel any better.
They can live a better lifestyle with the money they earn, but it is how they approach this life and how they use it that will make them happy.
Your happiness is not dependent on your spouse, children, or family. You’ll be closer to the life you desire if you accept full responsibility for your happiness.
14) Get moving.
Research shows that physical stress can reduce mental stress.
According to Harvard Health Blog, aerobic exercise is important for your brain as well as your heart.
Regular aerobic exercise can make a significant difference in your body, metabolism, heart rate, and spirits.
It can excite and relax, provide stimulation and calm, counter depression, and dissipate stressful thoughts. This is a common experience for endurance athletes.
Clinical trials have shown that exercise can be used to treat anxiety disorders or clinical depression.
Exercise can have psychological benefits for both athletes and patients.
Harvard Health claims that exercise reduces the body’s stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline.
It stimulates endorphin production, which is a natural painkiller and mood elevator.
Exercise keeps the mind and body sharp. You can exercise your brain and body by reflecting on your life, where you are now, and how you plan to get there.
To live the life you want, it is important to exercise your body. Research has shown that exercise makes people happier.
You might not find running a 4-minute mile fun, so don’t do it. Take a slow walk, enjoy your surroundings, your breathing, and the sound of your feet, and take some time to relax.
15) Listen to your instincts
The Guardian asked a hospice nurse what were her Top 5 regrets about dying. One of the most common responses she got was that they didn’t live up to their dreams.
“This was my biggest regret. It is easy to see how many of your dreams have been abandoned when you realize that your life is nearly over. Many people didn’t fulfill even half of their dreams, and they died knowing it was because of choices made. “Health is a source of freedom that few people realize until they lose it.”
If we don’t believe that we can fulfill our dreams, desires, and wishes, then we won’t be happy.
Relying on others to make things happen for you will only lead to long waits to feel happy. It’s thrilling and rewarding to go out and pursue what you want.
Sometimes you won’t find happiness at end of the journey. Sometimes the journey is what brings happiness.
Trust your gut, and you will find that you can make yourself happy. Your journey to discover what’s on the other side of your feelings is worth it.
16) Find out more about yourself.
Happiness is not something that you just see, it’s something that you create. It is possible to be happier.
It can be hard work. You may not always find the things you love about yourself through the work you do.
Niia Nikolova is a Postdoctoral researcher in Psychology. She believes that knowing yourself is the first step to breaking bad thought patterns.
“Recognizing true emotions can help you to intervene between actions and feelings – knowing your emotions will allow you to take control of them and break negative thought patterns. It is possible to empathise more with others by understanding our emotions and thinking patterns.
It is difficult to learn about yourself, but those who are happy and fulfilled life in the present.
They are authentic and true to themselves. Face the music to be authentic.
Ruda Iande created an unusual video for free that helped me feel the most lost in my life. It focuses on reducing stress and increasing inner peace.
I was feeling anxious and my relationship was in decline. My confidence and self-esteem hit rock bottom. You can probably relate. Heartbreak doesn’t do much to nourish the soul and heart.
I didn’t have anything to lose so I decided to try this free video on breathwork. The results were amazing.
Before we move on, I want to tell you this.
Sharing is something I believe in. I want others to feel the same way. It worked for me.
Ruda has created something more than a standard breathing exercise. He cleverly combined his years of practice in breathwork and shamanism into this amazing flow. It’s also free to use.
You need to see this firsthand, so I won’t tell you too much.
It was a great experience. I felt happy and hopeful for the first time in a long time.
Let’s face the truth, all of us can use a little boost in our relationships.
Ruda’s free video on breathwork is a great way to find happiness.
Although it’s not a quick fix for all your problems, it can help you find the inner peace that will help you get your life back on track.
17) Find the positive in people
It doesn’t necessarily mean that you will be happy all the time. Happiness is not a state or state of being, but a state in which you think and feel happy.
There will be difficulties and people will rub you wrong, make you irritated, or just plain annoy you.
Grudges are formed when you see the worst in people.
But, the negative emotions that are associated with grudges eventually give place to resentment. According to Mayo Clinic, this makes it difficult to feel happy.
It has been shown that letting go of grudges and seeing the best people can lead to less stress and more fulfilling life.
It’s impossible to know what people are thinking or feeling. The best thing to do when you feel hurt or wronged is to take control of your thoughts and feelings and see the good in others.
Although others might hurt us, the majority of people don’t mean it. It’s our reaction that causes hurt and anger.
People who are happy know that they can’t make others feel anything.
Our thoughts are the most influential. Look for the positive in people, then find the problem and resolve it. These are the things that will make you happy. Others won’t.
This one Buddhist teaching changed my life.
My lowest ebb occurred 6 years ago.
In my twenties, I was a man who lifted boxes in a warehouse all day. I had few happy relationships with my friends and women, and a monkey mind that would not shut off.
During those years, I was plagued by anxiety, insomnia, and a lot of useless thinking.
My life seemed to be heading nowhere. I was an average man and very unhappy.
For me, the turning point was when I discovered Buddhism.
After reading every possible thing about Buddhism and eastern philosophies I learned how to let go of all the things that were holding me back, even my hopeless career prospects, and my disappointing personal relationships.
Buddhism is about letting go in many ways. Let go allows us to let go of negative thoughts and behaviour that don’t serve us. It also helps us loosen the grip on all our attachments.
Six years later, healthkart is my creation. It’s one of the most popular self-improvement blogs on the Internet.
To be clear, I am not a Buddhist. I don’t have any spiritual inclinations. I am just a normal guy who found amazing teachings in eastern philosophy and turned his life around.
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Put yourself first
What is your top goal right now?
Is it worth saving up to buy the car you have been dreaming of?
Do you want to finally get started on a side hustle that will hopefully allow you to quit your 9-5 job?
The order to make the leap and ask your partner to move in.
No matter what your goals may be, there is a trap in the way you set them.
This is the trap:
Only when your goals align with your values will you experience true life satisfaction.
You will enjoy the journey more if your values and goals align. This makes it much easier to achieve your goals.
Jeanette Brown, a career coach, offers a free value exercise that will help you articulate your deepest life values.
It only takes a few minutes and can reveal powerful insights about your core values.