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The Hero Instinct : How Can You Make Your Man Feel It?


You have probably heard of the hero instinct.

This is a fascinating concept in relationship psychology. Some believe it holds the key to making men fall in love and commit to a long-term relationship.

But what exactly is the hero instinct? Is it real? How can it benefit your relationship?

This article will:

  • This is a straightforward explanation of the hero instinct.
  • Men need to feel like heroes. Hint: It’s deeply rooted within our biology.
  • Describe how you can make your man feel it.

My goal is to tell you all you need about the hero instinct.

No fluff. No exaggeration. This is a very practical explanation of hero instinct and how it can benefit you in your relationship.

Let’s go.

What is the hero instinct and why do we have it?

You may have an image in your head of what a hero looks like.

Heroes are all around Hollywood. These heroes usually consist of a man who takes center stage and saves the people he loves, particularly a woman. The hero is brave, strong, and full-of integrity.

Are regular men willing to take on a cape and save whole cities from the villains we see in these movies? Are you able to make your man into Thor in order to get his love?

It’s not.

The hero instinct has less to do with Hollywood than it does with the basic biological impulse men must feel loved and needed.

The hero instinct states that men are motivated by three fundamental things in life.

  • To live a fulfilling life and be appreciated for his efforts
  • Provide for his loved ones, including his family and friends, but especially his romantic partner.
  • Respect others around him.

You’ll quickly realize how much this makes sense if you have ever spent time with a man. These 3 psychological needs are universal to all men, regardless of their size.

Your man may not want to be an action hero, but it is a simple truth. He does, however, have a natural urge to be a hero for the woman in his life.

Why he would like to be your heroWhy he would like to be your hero

A guy who falls in love naturally protects his partner. This is fundamental male psychology.

If you have an argument with a friend, he will naturally choose your side. He’ll cross the road and put his body on the other side of traffic.

He cannot help it.

He will not be able control his desire to protect you, even if he is scared to admit he loves and cherishes you.

The Physiology & Behavior Journal published a study that showed that testosterone in males makes them feel more protective of their mate’s safety.

Although he might not have spoken to you, he clearly loves you. You see it in everything he does. It is evident in his way of looking at you. It is evident in his actions around you.

It is in the simplest gestures, which touch you the most deeply, that he shows it.

Who came up with the term “the hero instinct”?

James Bauer, the author of His Secret Obsession, introduced the term “the hero instinct” in his bestseller.

This book was my complete reading experience. You can find my review.

James is a relationship expert and has helped thousands of people strengthen their relationships.

James studied the relationships of his clients and researched male psychology to discover the secret to happy relationships: activating the hero instinct.

James Bauer is a psychologist and best-selling author.

James Bauer is today one of the most respected relationship experts due to his hero instinct.

You want to awaken the hero instinct in your man as soon as possible? This 12-word message will help you make your man feel important in his life. What does the hero-instinct mean to you?

The key takeaway from the hero instinct? You need to make your guy feel valued and needed, not unessential.

Women don’t have to appear weak. You don’t necessarily need a hero but you do want one who feels like one.

You probably know that your guy can do almost everything on your own. He probably admires you for that.

It’s okay to let him manage the occasional task, if he feels like it.

He wants your back. He wants to be your rock. It’s enough to allow him to be that once in a while.

Alternatives are that a man in a relationship that doesn’t trigger his hero instinct will be less likely to remain in that relationship.

Is your pride in your self-sufficiency worth the risk of losing a relationship with the man you love?

It’s not my opinion.

What do I think about the hero instinct?

I have a lot of hero instincts in myself.

Every man has an inborn drive to find meaning, to respect others and to care for those we love. We are drawn to the people and things that matter to us.

I am certain that I do.

And I’m not the stereotypical guy.

I am passionate about psychology, Buddhism, and eastern philosophy. I have written books about mindfulness and Buddhism. I don’t like to drink all night, I don’t know how change a flat tire and I’ve never used a power tool in life.

When it comes to being in a romantic relationship, I want her to be my hero. If a woman doesn’t have the ability to tap into my hero instincts, it won’t be a long-lasting relationship.

All men share the same instinctive primal instinct to care for and protect those we love.

Even new age men like me

But, has society not moved beyond the whole “primal instinct” thing?

We haven’t.

The hero instinct’s central claim is that men are born with a primal instinct for being heroes. Our DNA is wired to protect and provide for women, and to be appreciated for their efforts.

It’s politically acceptable to say that gender stereotypes have been outdated and that only social differences exist between men and women in 2020. But just because something is politically correct, doesn’t mean it is actually right.

This proves that the idea that there are no gender differences in this instance is totally false. Our biology still creates big differences between women and men.

Even though we aren’t always conscious of it, men still have the same instincts that drove us as we were when we were children.

Since thousands of years, we have wanted women to want us and need us. We want women to feel safe. We want to please them.

It is still quite a big deal for a man to step up for a woman.

Yes, times have changed. Women today can look after themselves just as well as men.

Does this mean you should treat your man like an accessory? You can consider your man a friend, but not a necessity in your daily life.

Your man will still want to protect and provide for you as he did in the past.

How to rouse a man’s hero instinct

A man cannot be your hero today by protecting you against wild animals and warmongering tribals.

There are many ways to activate the hero instinct of the 21st Century.

These are 5 easy ways to get your man’s hero instinct going, starting right now

  • Ask him for his assistance. Seek his advice if you have any problems with your computer or need to fix something around the house. Man wants to feel valuable. He wants to feel useful and be the one you can turn to when you really need it.
  • Thank him for his kindness. Tell him how grateful you are for his genuine acts of kindness. This is human psychology at its core. Men desire to feel valued as much as women.
  • Increase his confidence. Do you recall how I said earlier that a man’s hero instinct involves being respected by his peers. This means that you should not ridicule him or make him feel inferior. This one is a bit more self-centered, but it’s not wrong to protect a man’s dignity.
  • You want him to know that you are happy. A man is more than just concerned about providing food and shelter for his wife. He wants her to be happy. Tell your man what you want to make him happy.
  • Encourage him to be the best version of himself. It won’t surprise you that a man’s world doesn’t revolve entirely around women. Men should have the freedom to pursue other interests, such as exercise, friendships, or even fantasy football. Encourage him. Encourage him to feel that he is living the best life possible.

A man doesn’t care about how pretty you look in bed or how much fun you have, but how you make him feel when he is with you.

However, this doesn’t mean that you should act weak and meek around him. It’s not necessary to pretend that you are someone else.

This is a simple goal: let your man step up. This is what men truly want. Being there for a woman when she is in need of him, fulfills his desire to provide meaning, respect and be a provider.

You will make your man feel better about yourself and you will be able to see each other in a new light. This will lead to a stronger relationship.

You want to know more about the hero instinct

This is just a small part of what this amazing concept is all about.

If you believe the hero instinct is real, as I do, I recommend James Bauer’s His Secret Obsession.

The book addresses the issues that women all over the world face, including:

  • What can cause men to lose interest in women after they have lost their initial attraction to them
  • Why men won’t commit to long-term relationships even if things seem to be going well.
  • Why men can suddenly withdraw from their partners and stop communicating with them

His Secret Obsession’s central idea is that women must tap into their man’s hero instinct. This guide provides simple strategies and practical guidance to help you do exactly that.

You will learn exactly what phrases to use, which texts to send, and how you can trigger your hero instinct.

You will have everything you need after reading the book:

  • You can get the man you like to be your husband and enjoy his long-term love and devotion.
  • No matter how distant or cold he is, strengthen the bonds you already have
  • After a split, try to rekindle your relationship and get him to chase after you.

James Bauer is not a “dating “guru”.

He simply states simple truths, based on his experience with men and women over the past 12 years.

Find out more about James Bauer’s Secret Obsession here.


Why is it that men desire to feel loved and accepted by the women they love?

Blame your instincts and deep-rooted biology.

Instead of trying to stop it, empower your man by activating his hero instinct.

Take a look at it this way.

The best women who are able to understand the hero instinct all men have will be able to build loving, long-lasting relationships.

The ones who don’t recognize this inherent drive in men and don’t allow him to provide for them are those who will continue to have unsatisfying, short-term relationships that eventually end in disillusionment.

I know the type of woman most people would like to be.

You can watch the “hero instinct” video and it is free. This video will show you how to get your man’s hero instinct firing right away. These phrases and text messages can be tailored to suit any situation. A relationship coach can help you, too.

A relationship coach can provide valuable advice if you need it.

This is what I have personally experienced…

Relationship Hero helped me through a difficult time in my life a few months back. I was lost in my thoughts so much that they provided me with a unique insight into my relationship dynamics and the best way to get it back on track.

Relationship Hero is a website where highly-trained relationship coaches can help couples navigate difficult and complicated love situations.

You can reach a certified relationship coach in just minutes and receive tailored advice.

My coach was so kind, compassionate, and helpful.

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