We’ve all been there. At that point in the relationship, you start asking yourself, “does my boyfriend love me?” there are lots of signs once you read this, you will be able to understand ether his using you and truly loves you
Maybe he hasn’t been acting himself lately. Or perhaps he hasn’t opened himself up to you as you hoped.
Whatever your situation, it’s time to figure it out.
The good news? It’s not as complex as you might think.
You need to know what signs to look for.
1.He is protective of you.
Men are naturally protective of women.
A study published in the Physiology & Behavior journal shows that males’ testosterone makes them feel protective over their mate’s safety and wellbeing.
Does your boyfriend protect you? Not just from physical harm, but does he ensure you’re covered when any adverse situation arises?
Congratulations. This is a sign he loves you.
A fascinating new concept in relationship psychology is getting a lot of buzzes now. It goes to the heart of the riddle about why men fall in love — and who they fall in love with.
The theory claims that men have a primal urge to provide for and protect women. That they derive meaning in their lives through stepping up for their woman.
This is deeply rooted in male biology.
People are calling it the hero instinct.
The kicker is that your boyfriend won’t fall in love with you when he doesn’t feel like your hero.
He wants to see himself as a protector. As someone you genuinely want and need to have around, not as an accessory, ‘best friend,’ or ‘partner in crime.
I know this might sound a bit silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
And I couldn’t agree more.
But here’s the ironic truth. Men do still need to be a hero because it’s built into our DNA to seek out relationships that allow us to feel like a protector.
2.He considers you a priority.
Nicholas Sparks sums it up quite perfectly:
“You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it’s always their actions you should judge them by. It’s actions, not words, that matter.”
Let’s be honest:
Men aren’t great when it comes to expressing their emotions.
So to figure out if he loves you or not, you can’t rely solely on his words. You need to look at his actions.
We all have things that keep us busy in life. Family, school, work commitments, and hobbies.
But amongst all of that, if he still makes you his priority, that’s an excellent sign.
A real sign of true love is if he is putting you above himself.
In fact, research has suggested that “compassionate love” can be one of the biggest signs of a healthy relationship. Compassionate love refers to love that “centers on the good of the other.”
The bottom line is this:
A man that’s genuinely in love will do whatever it takes to make you happy.
Because the sight of you being angry or upset will hurt him.
He’ll prioritize spending time with you and be there to save the day when you need something.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about a guy being obsessed. No one wants that.
But I’m talking about a guy who makes you his number one priority.
That kind of guy is a keeper.
3.He listens to you
When it comes to true love, there is a huge amount of respect for each other.
Because without respect, a relationship simply can’t grow.
And when you respect your partner, you always listen to what they have to say.
If your boyfriend loves you, he’ll hang onto your every word.
He remembers the little details and takes note when you mention anything for a reason.
He doesn’t interrupt you. He doesn’t think that he is smarter than you.
He just listens without distraction and then offers his advice once you’re finished.
So if your boyfriend remembers the tiniest details, you know he loves you.
4.He talks about his feelings.
Now I wouldn’t hang onto this sign as the be-all and end-all. Men just aren’t great at expressing their emotions.
But if your boyfriend isn’t afraid to share his feelings with you, then that’s a great sign that he truly loves you.
It takes effort for a guy to reveal his emotions, so you know it really means something when they do.
He doesn’t take a step back from answering your questions. He doesn’t hide anything from you.
He is ready for you to get to know him inside out.
5.What would a relationship coach say?
While this article explores the main signs your boyfriend loves you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like working out with your stand with your man. They’re a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge.
How do I know?
Well, I reached out to Relationship Hero a few months ago when I was going through a tough patch in my own relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
Click here to get started.
6.He wants to immerse himself in your life.
In the same way, he doesn’t just want to share his life; he wants to completely immerse himself in your life, too.
He wants to meet your family and friends. He wants to make a good impression.
He’s ultra polite and respectful with your parents. He admires them because they raised you.
Even if he doesn’t get along with his friends, he still makes an effort to spend time with them.
He does all of this because he isn’t afraid to become a permanent fixture in your life.
He even wants to be a part of things you’re passionate about.
Normally guys don’t really like yoga, but he’ll give it a shot because you said it’d be fun to do it together.
In fact, a study suggested that people who claimed that they were in love had varied interests and personality traits after those relationships.
Guys that like you will take an interest in you. But guys that want to become a part of your life don’t just like you. They love you.
7.He makes future plans.
If there’s one thing that men know, it’s this. For a woman to feel truly completely comfortable in the relationship, they need some kind of guarantee for the future.
It doesn’t have to be kids or a proposal, especially early on.
But your boyfriend makes plans for a long weekend out of town. He makes plans for an extended vacation with you.
And that wedding you’re invited to attend months from now? Of course, he’ll be your date.
If your boyfriend isn’t afraid to commit to future plans, then you can bet your bottom dollar that he loves you.
He goes that extra mile to make sure you know he’s in this for the long haul.
8.He regularly displays little signs of affection.
Never forget: The little things DO count.
Those little kisses he gives you on the forehead, the hugs, the way he looks at you.
Because it shows where his mind is at and what he is truly feeling.
After all, it’s difficult to pre-meditate little signs of affection.
And as we mentioned above, we can all say whatever we want, but it’s our actions that count.
He doesn’t have to be all over you. But if he naturally holds your hands and kisses you on the cheek, then there’s a fair chance that he loves you.
(To forge a long-lasting relationship, you need to understand how your guy thinks. Check out our Make Him Worship You review for inside tips on the male mind).
9.When you’re feeling down, he tries to lift you up.
If your boyfriend loves you, he wants you to be happy. There are no two ways about it.
So when you’re feeling annoyed, angry, or sad, he does whatever he can to lift you back up.
Maybe it’s stupid jokes. Maybe it’s making you breakfast in bed.
Or maybe it’s a simple hug and a kiss on the cheek.
Whatever it is, he wants to lift you back up. He cares about you and how you’re feeling.
According to Dr. Suzana E. Flores, when someone is in love, they tend to show strong empathy:
10.He asks for your advice
When there is genuine love, there is genuine respect.
That’s why he asks for your opinion. He respects what you have to say and your opinions.
He takes on board what you have to say.
As Peter Gray mentioned in Psychology Today, “Love brings bliss to both types of relationships, but only if tempered by respect.”
If he really cares what you think, it means that he really cares about you.
He respects you, he trusts you, and he, without a doubt, loves you.
When he doesn’t trust you, and you feel let down, it’s the opposite. But even in those cases, you’re not powerless.
The truth is, most of us overlook an incredibly important element in our lives:
The relationship we have with ourselves.
I learned about this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. In his genuine, free video on cultivating healthy relationships, he gives you the tools to plant yourself at the center of your world.
He covers some of the major mistakes most of us make in our relationships, such as codependency habits and unhealthy expectations. Mistakes most of us make without even realizing it.
So why am I recommending Rudá’s life-changing advice?
Well, he uses techniques derived from ancient shamanic teachings, but he puts his own modern-day twist on them. He may be a shaman, but his experiences in love weren’t much different from yours and mine.
Until he found a way to overcome these common issues, and that’s what he wants to share with you.
So if you’re ready to make that change Today and cultivate healthy, loving relationships, relationships you know you deserve, check out his simple, genuine advice.
11.He gets jealous
This one sounds a little weird, but hear me out.
Jealousy is a natural emotion that you can’t control.
Relationship expert Dr. Terri Orbuch says
So if your boyfriend gets jealous when you’re in conversation with a handsome guy or when you talk about how funny your co-worker is, you better believe that he loves you.
If he loves you, he wants to be number one in your life.
So when he hears you talk about other men, his emotions naturally perk up because it’s a threat to the position that he has worked so hard to cultivate.
He knows logically that there’s little threat, but he can’t control his emotions.
12.He doesn’t just care about sex.
We all know what men are like. They think about sex 24/7.
Maybe when you first started dating, he was a little bit like this.
But now? Your emotions for each other have grown deeper than that.
Sex isn’t that important to him anymore.
He loves you and wants to have a relationship with you. Sex is only one facet of that.
The most important thing in his eyes is just to be with you.
13.He shows up when you need help.
If he shows up immediately when you call for help, then there’s no question that he’s in love.
After all, when you’re genuinely in love, you’ll do anything for your partner. It’s a known fact.
The fact of the matter of this:
If he is showing he cares for you with action, then he might be a guy you want to hold onto you.
Keep in mind that his actions, not his words, will tell you everything.
According to psychotherapist Christine Scott-Hudson:
14.He is your biggest supporter
Whether you’ve got a big work meeting coming up or you are simply cooking dinner for the two of you, he’ll be your biggest cheerleader on the sidelines.
It’s not always easy to tell if a man loves you, but if he is always in your corner, then you can bet that he cares.
He cares about your wellbeing and your care. He wants you to succeed, fulfill your potential and live the life that you’ve always dreamed of.
Whatever it is you’re doing, he’s always on your side.
15.He feels essential to you.
For a man, feeling essential to a woman is often what separates “like” from “love.”
Don’t get me wrong, no doubt your boyfriend loves your strength and abilities to be independent. But he still wants to feel wanted and useful — not dispensable!
This is because men have a built-in desire for something “greater” that goes beyond love or sex.
It’s why men who seemingly have the “perfect girlfriend” are still unhappy and find themselves constantly searching for something else — or, worst of all, someone else.
Simply put, men have a biological drive to feel needed, to feel important, and to provide for the woman he cares about.
Relationship psychologist James Bauer calls it the hero instinct. I talked about this concept above.
As James argues, male desires are not complicated, just misunderstood. Instincts are powerful drivers of human behavior, and this is especially true for how men approach their relationships.
So, when the hero instinct isn’t triggered, men are unlikely to commit to a relationship with any woman.
He holds back because being in a relationship is a serious investment for him. And he won’t fully “invest” in you unless you give him a sense of meaning and purpose and make him feel essential.
How do you trigger this instinct in him? And give him this sense of meaning and purpose?
In an authentic way, you simply have to show your man what you need and allow him to step up to fulfill it.
In his new video, James Bauer outlines several things you can do. He reveals phrases, texts, and little requests that you can use right now to make your boyfriend feel more essential to you.