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What to do if there is no chemistry?

Remember that chemistry doesn't always mean love.

Do you ever see how, no chemistry in movies and books, boys meet girls and sparks fly and they instantly fall for each other?

This is how we are made to view love.

Either you and your partner have crazy chemistry or it’s not enough.

But what if you meet someone who seems to tick all of your boxes, but you just don’t feel any butterflies-in-your-stomach-thing with them? What should you do? Do you ignore them?

What if you are old enough to know that “chemistry” doesn’t always work? Is that a sign you’re settling for less? Or are you being smart?

It is enough to make your head spin.

Chemistry is complex. It is something that you can feel and it is undeniably there. Scientists aren’t able to explain why we feel chemistry with certain people and not with others.

What is chemistry? Is it a requirement for successful relationships? What can you do if you don’t feel the chemistry? Let’s see.

Science explains what chemistry looks like

Trust me when I say that there is chemistry.

According to Margaux Cassuto, relationship expert:

However, I believe that the most difficult thing about chemistry is its ability to include many unique elements.

Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, explored this concept in her groundbreaking study on love. She believes that love can be divided into three stages: attraction, lust, and attachment.

How does chemistry get here?

Fisher suggests that our bodies react and behave differently during different stages of love. She proposes that each stage of love is classified by its own set of hormones.

Feel-good hormone dopamine is responsible for those insane, must-have-you feelings. Norepinephrine can be produced in the “attraction” phase when we feel an energetic, falling-in love feeling. The attachment phase is when we become addicted to someone.

This is where things get tricky. Although chemistry is an integral part of each stage of the love journey, it can also happen in its own right, or even in a different order.

This means that you might get stuck at a stage because of some unknown reason.

Lust and attraction can lead to romantic relationships. These are the times when puppy lovers and flings occur. They don’t always reach the third stage. If you feel more chemistry during attachment, this can lead to a stronger connection that can make it easier to get someone into your friend zone.

This is how love and relationships can become confusing. Sometimes we feel chemistry in a different way than we should.

This is why…

Remember that chemistry doesn't always mean love.Remember that chemistry doesn’t always mean love.

No chemistry? If you aren’t ready to give up, here’s what to do (backed by science and experts).

1. Find common ground

Research reveals that people tend to choose partners who have similar DNA.

This means that people who are similar to us in many aspects, such as facial features, personality traits, and socio-economic background, are more likely to be attracted.

Perhaps you haven’t really looked at your potential partner enough. It is possible that you and your partner share more similarities than you realize.

What’s more enjoyable than bonding over shared interests

2. What do they want?

If you don’t feel the chemistry, then it is time to get to know the person behind the relationship.

Recently, I discovered what men really want in a relationship.

Men are wired to seek out something “greater”, beyond love and sex. This is why even men who seem to have the perfect girlfriend are often unhappy and constantly search for someone else.

This is a new theory in relationship psychology that taught me everything I know about it.

It is called the hero instinct.

This theory states that a man would like to be a hero. His partner is someone he truly wants to be around. You are not a ‘best friend’ or ‘partner-in-crime’.

The kicker?

This instinct is up to the woman.

It sounds silly, I know. Women don’t need someone to save them these days. They don’t need to have a ‘hero in their lives.

I couldn’t be more pleased.

Here’s the irony. It’s still important for men to feel like heroes. It’s in their DNA to find relationships that make them feel like protectors.

It is simple: a man can trigger this instinct in a woman.

How do you do it?

When you know how to trigger the hero instinct, it can be very fun.

Watch this free online video by the relationship expert who discovered hero instinct. This video explains the simple steps you can take to awaken this instinct in your man.

A man who feels like a hero will be more loving, attentive and committed to a long-term relationship. The chemistry between you guys will take your relationship to the next level.

3. Keep your eyes open more

Yes, studies have shown that having more eye contact can increase your desire to be with someone.

Research suggests that looking directly at someone can increase “affective stimulation” and produce a positive impression.

Do not be afraid to try it. It’s possible. Talking to them should be done confidently, directly in their eyes.

4. Be a bit more mysterious

Science says that unpredictability can help inducing dopamine in our bodies.


Dopamine is literally a “seeking mechanism”. The more we learn about someone, we feel more obsessed towards getting to know them.

Don’t try to fill all of your baskets at once. To “spark” interest from potential partners, be a bit more mysterious.

5. Be sincere

It’s so easy to overlook the importance of sincerity these days. It is so easy and instantaneous to communicate with someone that it has become almost impossible to convey your intention.

Say it because it makes sense. It’s important to say it as you mean it. Do it because that is what you want.

Be open with yourself. This makes everything else easier.

Kelly Campbell , a psychology professor, explains.

Being comfortable with oneself will make it easier for them to be open and honest with the world. Understanding oneself will make it easier to accept and be tolerant of others, regardless of their views on important issues.

Be more sincere if you wish to make a connection with someone.

6. Need advice tailored to your particular situation?

This article outlines the most important things you can do, but it’s also a good idea to talk to a relationship coach to discuss your situation.

A professional relationship coach can offer advice that is specific to your life and experiences.

Relationship Hero provides highly-trained relationship coaches who can help you through difficult and challenging situations. These coaches are a popular resource for those who face this kind of challenge.

What do I need to know?

When I was going through a difficult time in my own marriage, I reached out. They helped me to see the dynamics of my relationship after I was lost in my thoughts for so many months.

My coach was so kind, compassionate, and helpful.

You can reach a certified relationship coach in just minutes and receive tailored advice.

7. Take care of yourself

This may seem obvious to others but it might not be to you. Or maybe you just want someone who sees beyond your current perspective.

You are absolutely correct. True love places more emphasis on your personality and your looks than your looks.

science reveals that looking good makes you more appealing.

You and your partner don’t have to be supermodels. You just need to look healthy and clean, and take good care of your body.

So do a makeover. Get together and exercise. Be kind to each other. You want to feel good, not only for the sake of chemistry but also because you want to have a great relationship.

8. Just enough touch

Because it’s released when we touch, dopamine is also known as the cuddlehormone. It is why we feel so happy when our loved ones touch us.

There is a delicate balance.

Too much touching can make you seem too excited, even creepy. Too little and you will appear disinterested.

Touching is a skill that can help you grow your chemistry.

Stacy Karyn is an online dating consultant.

Get creative. Take part in a food hunt. Visit your local carnival. Enjoy a pleasant hike.

You don’t have to make it extravagant or complicated. It’s enough to be more spontaneous. This not only creates more chemistry, but also sustains romance in long-term relationships.

10. Have fun together

Numerous studies have demonstrated that laughter is vital in any romantic relationship. One study actually shows that laughter is essential for courtship success.

Dr. Mathis Kennington is a marriage and family therapist.

To have a good time, you don’t need to be funny to laugh with each other. You don’t have to laugh together, but it’s possible to share a good time if you both are open to having fun with one another.

This is how we are made to view love.

Either you and your partner have crazy chemistry or it’s not enough.

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