Is contact impossible after a split?
It’s hard to have no contact with your ex while you are going through heartache.
It can even feel like torture. It can feel like torture, as you constantly check your phone to see if it’s time to send them a message. You want to be sure it will pay off in the end.
This article will explain why no contact rules work.
Is contact not necessary? These 12 reasons are valid.
1) It allows you to take some time out for yourself
It’s obvious that emotions can be high after a breakup. You probably feel a little scattered right now.
No Contact is an effective technique because it allows people to forget about their differences and allows them to be more focused on themselves. Although it can be difficult, it is a constructive approach to dealing with painful situations.
You may experience conflicting and confusing emotions after a breakup.
This is a lot of work for anyone to handle. You need to take some time and space to clear your head. You’ll be better equipped to deal with whatever happens.
It might seem that talking to, texting, checking in on, or meeting with an ex gives you short-term relief from the pain. It will only make your head hurt.
Long-term, it will pay you dividends if you are disciplined enough to avoid temptation. This will set you up to succeed in the future.
It is not about choosing short-term fixes over long-term solutions in any contact. Short-term solutions are often short-term and will only lead to you going back to where you were before.
2) You can focus on your own needs.
It’s something I completely get. You probably cannot stop thinking about your ex right now. It’s normal.
The truth is, you have to think more about yourself. No contact can help you do that.
This time without contact is a time for you to be alone. Your ex can’t talk to or see you so it is best to focus your energy on you.
Giving yourself love and attention is what you need. Instead of obsessing over your ex, think about your goals and ambitions in life.
It is not only a distraction but also a way to increase self-esteem and speed up healing.
You can spend time focusing on yourself in many ways. It could be as simple as a pamper day or binge-watching your favorite TV show. Or it could be your hobbies and spending time with friends.
Most likely, you are so used to thinking in pairs that it might be hard to think of yourself as an individual.
Get advice that is specific to your situation
This article will cover everything you need to know regarding the no-contact rule following a breakup. However, it is a good idea to talk to a relationship coach to discuss your situation.
A professional relationship coach can offer advice that is specific to your life and experiences.
Relationship Hero is a website where highly-trained relationship coaches can help people with complicated or difficult relationships, such as getting your ex back. These coaches are a popular resource for those who face this kind of challenge.
What do I need to know?
When I was going through a difficult time in my own marriage, I reached out. They helped me to see the dynamics of my relationship after I was lost in my thoughts for so many months.
My coach was so kind, compassionate, and helpful.
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It allows your ex to see you and not miss you.
It is said that the absence of something makes the heart feel more loved. Sometimes, we don’t realize what we have until it’s gone.
Even if you end up breaking up, if your ex is still talking to or seeing you, they won’t be able to feel your absence.
This is where contact does not come in.
Did you notice in the beginning that your partner started missing you even before you left?
They would say things like, “Oh my God, I’m going to miss you!” or “I wish that we could spend more quality time together.”
Guess what? You are feeling exactly the same way as your ex now. Except for a toxic relationship, we all miss our ex when it comes to breaking up.
We are so used to them being around, that they’re bound for us to miss them.
They will likely feel sad because they don’t have the ability to see you anymore. They will then start to miss you.
They’ll then start to wonder why you haven’t contacted them. They’ll then start to miss you more.
In this situation, having no contact can help to facilitate reconciliation over the long term. It doesn’t always work this way. Sometimes, even though we are sad for an ex, we realize that it was probably the best thing for us.
It is a sad fact that we sometimes miss someone. However, it doesn’t necessarily mean that we should not get back together.
Perhaps you are wondering if the no-contact rule applies if you have been dumped. Yes, it does. The no-contact rule has many benefits.
It doesn’t matter if you want to be back together, but no contact is your best option for healing the relationship and moving on.
5) It allows you to heal.
Time is a healer. No one ever wants to accept pain in their lives. However, most people who have been through a breakup are happier about it.
It’s hard to believe when you’re in the middle of heartbreak. But here’s why.
Like all forms of suffering and breakups, they have the potential to grow.
The process of breaking up forces us all to examine ourselves and confront our flaws. We learn life lessons. We learn how dependent we are on our partners, and how much they take us for granted. We come to understand ourselves and grow as individuals.
That’s what you really need right now. You must heal. Although it may take time, you will feel stronger each day.
You can take this time to grieve and process your emotions. This is an opportunity to allow yourself to grieve, mourn, and then turn the corner.
This healing time can also be used to look back on past relationships and determine what went wrong.
Take what you have learned from each of these relationships and use it in your next relationship. You’ll probably make fewer mistakes the next time.
6) They will see that you have moved on.
If you choose to not have contact with them, they won’t be able to reach out to you or start texting you. They won’t be in a position to speak to you, ask you questions, or tell you how you’re doing.
They don’t also get to see how you have changed since the breakup or how you are handling everything.
If you have secret hopes that you can fix your relationship, this is one of the major benefits of no contact.
We tend to want things we don’t have. It’s easier to let go of someone you know will be there for us when we need them.
Your ex can get you back by clicking their fingers. This is a way for a healthy relationship to function.
A doormat is not something to be respected.
It is important to remember that if you completely cut off communication, you are not granting them permission to come back when it suits them.
By making yourself unavailable, it sends a message that your won’t be the one chasing.
This can be extremely frustrating for your ex. You should also remember that your ex may be going through the same withdrawal symptoms.
An ex may not always want to see you again after a contact. If you hope it will, however, seeing that you aren’t available to them can be a positive thing.
How can you get your ex back if there is no contact?
This situation calls for you to rekindle their romantic interest in each other.
Brad Browning has helped thousands of people get their ex-partners back. For good reason, he is known as “the relationship geek”.
This video will show you how to get your ex back.
He’ll help you, no matter your current situation or how bad you’ve done since you split up.
Here is the link to his video. This video will show you how to get your ex back.
7) This is a chance for you to assess what you really want
As we know, the period after a split is full of emotions. This is not the best place to make important decisions.
It’s normal to feel knee-jerk reactions in the aftermath. It is common to desire it back when we lose something.
This is grief speaking. This is grief talking.
No matter how happy and healthy the relationship was, it did not make us happy. We just want the cloud of sadness and panic to disappear.
You will be able to think clearly after a reasonable amount of time. Without being overwhelmed by emotion, you can assess your relationship.
This will help you understand your true desires.
Are you ready to have your ex back? Would you rather have someone new?
Although you may believe that you know the answers to these questions, the truth is that we can only gain perspective from distance. This is exactly what you will get if you adhere to the no contact rule.
It will help you see things in a bigger context.
8. It prevents you from being constantly triggered
Heartbreak triggers can be found right after a breakup.
These triggers can come in the form of a song, a photo of your ex or just hearing his name. Many of these triggers are easy to miss.
It’s also true that we are prone to look for them. It’s almost as if we are tempted to pick a scab. We know that we shouldn’t but it’s tempting.
Focusing on your thoughts and feelings is the best time. It’s not the time to scroll through their Instagram stories and follow everyone they are hanging out with. This will only lead to more suffering.
You might think that you want to find out what he is doing, where he is going and with whom he is. You really don’t.
You will be protected from the worst by cutting contact.
More details like:
If they have been seeing someone else,
You can’t make them go out and have fun without their permission.
You will learn more about their lives if you keep in touch. Trust me when I say that it is far better to know as little as possible about their lives right now.
9) You are open to meeting new people.
Although it may not feel that way right now, the time following a breakup can be a great opportunity to make new friends.
If you have enough time to heal, breaking ups can be very empowering times in your life, when we are able to welcome in the new.
Even if the breakup was a good thing, maybe you aren’t ready to start a new relationship right now. It’s going to be easier to get over your ex when you are ready.
You don’t have to let them obscure your vision. Instead, look around at other possibilities for love and romance in your life.
10. They say that when one door closes, the next one opens.
You can meet someone even if you don’t expect it. It’s much more likely if you don’t spend your energy and time contacting your ex.
Trust me, it’s true.
After breakups, I’ve always adhered to the no-contact rule. It has really helped me heal. However, it wasn’t the case with my ex.
He wanted to get in touch with me and I felt guilty for not doing so. At the cost of my own healing, he kept calling me and I continued seeing him for several months. We’d even message most days.
I discovered that he had been with another woman for several months until one day. When I found out, I ended contact with him. This gave me permission for me to do what I should’ve done right from the beginning — put myself first.
Guess what? After being completely single for months, and not looking at anyone else but myself, I found someone I liked later in the week.
Realistically, I was unable to let go of my ex because I kept in touch with him. It was time to let go of my ex and make room for another person in my life.
It stops the cycle of on-off again and forth
Love is stronger than any other drug. It can make us go crazy.
It’s no surprise then that people experience withdrawal symptoms after a breakup. To get another dose, we’ll do almost anything.
This could mean forgetting all the reasons we split up. All the fights. We felt the pain. Or the times we thought they were wrong for us.
These rose-tinted glasses can make us remember the good times and end up making us want it back.
We decide to give it another try in an attempt to ease the pain and forget the grief. We will only be able to recall all of the problems we have had. Probleme that aren’t easily fixed.
The cycle continues. The heartbreak comes back the next time. We keep at it until we have had enough.
More heartache and wasted tears.
Many couples who find themselves in on-and-off relationships are codependent. They are not experiencing healthy love, but a fear of being apart.
You might be able to save yourself from making a mistake down the line.
11) This allows for a dignified end of an affair
If you feel like telling your ex everything you think about them is a bad idea, you can give them some of your thoughts or ask them to reconsider. Ask yourself if it’s something you will regret later.
Let’s be brutally and completely honest.
It’s not enough to text them daily and tell them you love them. It’s quite humiliating to let them know that you are constantly checking in on them and following their every move. You will only look desperate if you call them drunk at 3 AM crying.
You have the best chance for a dignified split. This allows you to both take a step back and reflect on what went wrong.
It’s also possible to take the time to discover if you are meant for each other. You don’t have to let go of your feelings yet. It is only until you feel like you have moved on from where you are now.
No one can escape a broken relationship unscathed. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is to keep our self-respect intact even though our hearts feel broken.
12) It is a sign that there is still life after you have divorced.
The key to seeing is believing. Sometimes it’s difficult to imagine our world without our ex. There is still life after them.
You will be able to make your own decisions and have the freedom to create your life. This is not a wishful thinking. You’ll be able to see it for yourself.
It is easy to forget that they are not the only one in the world.
There are many other people out there. People who care about your well-being. People who make you happy. There are many more fish in the ocean.
Remember that your relationship with your ex doesn’t define you. You are a complete person, with your own identity.
This is something that we sometimes forget when we are in a relationship. However, distance and time will help you to remember who you were before and what you can do after the relationship.
You will not be offered the first step to a new chapter in your life by any contact.
What is the average time it takes for no contact to work?
Experts agree that contact must be made within 30 days for any real impact.
It is important to get past the stage of waiting and looking forward to the day you can speak again. This is because the idea behind it is to help you move past this stage.
This is also why most people recommend waiting at least 60 days. If you don’t want to wait until your body is fully healed, you may need to wait longer.
It took me over six months to be able to speak over text with my ex. Everyone’s healing journey will be different.
It all depends on what you want from no contact. It might take longer to move on if it is to help you.
You may be hoping that your ex will come to terms with you. However, this will take time and will depend on your circumstances.
Remember that reconciliation is not always possible if this is your goal. It’s better to spend your time apart well than to place your hopes on it.