It can be difficult to feel like the world is crumbling around you when a relationship ends.
You may be wondering what you should do. Do I ever have strong feelings for someone I’ve never met?
It doesn’t matter what the reason was, it is undeniably difficult.
But, after some time, you move on. Because you must move on. You decide to stop talking and accept the fact that you have moved on, regardless of whether you were the one who ended it or your partner.
You try to keep the good times in your mind and remember what you have. You socialize with new people, and your ex isn’t as often in your thoughts.
It’s basically back to normal, right?
But not always. Sometimes, not at all.
You will often sense, and even believe you can see signs that your ex isn’t over you.
Are they just imagining it or are they truly obsessed with you?
This 16-point checklist will help you identify if your ex is lying to you.
Is it just all in your head, or is your ex actually not over you?
1. They do too much “moving on”
Although this warning sign is quite different from the previous one, it is still related. This is the first sign that your ex uses online and offline methods to attract your attention and jealousy.
This is when your ex makes a show about how happy and “over” you are.
You will find a lot of inspiring poems and memes about inner peace, happiness alone, and other topics.
They sound like they are trying to convince you (and themselves) a little too much.
What do you think are the chances that, before the latest Gandhi quote was posted, there was an older post in which they shared how awful they felt and what they wished could have happened?
2. You received a lot of their stuff.
No matter if you were together, an ex-partner who truly wants to move on will take most of your stuff when they move out.
You could have clothes, souvenirs or even a book that you both loved. Or a favorite hat. It’s possible. They don’t want it. They are making a complete break.
It’s not the other way around. In this instance, your ex will leave behind a trail of sentimental breadcrumbs that will lead back to you.
Their favorite embroidered pillow; a shirt that they bought you on that day at the seaside; the ukelele that they learned for a week during the first few months of your relationship.
They want you to call them or ask what they have to say.
They want you to be kind enough to not throw it away and hope the items will tug at your heartstrings enough to ignite the engine of romance again.
3. They’re after your goat
This does not mean they will have all the pet goats they want, although it is possible. However, it often means that they are jealous of you.
They will get a reaction from you and get you jealous.
Your ex will use social media to post photos with new people, share songs about how happy you are that the relationship is over, or the evil nature of a lover, and many other things to make your mad and sad.
You might feel your ex is trying to broadcast a one-man show or one-woman show in order to grab your attention.
They love you, but they aren’t over you. Not even close.
Brad Browning has helped thousands of people get their ex-partners back. For good reason, he is known as “the relationship geek”.
This video will show you how to get your ex back.
He’ll help you, no matter your current situation or how bad you’ve done since you split up.
Here is the link to his video. This video will show you how to get your ex back.
4. They will hoard your stuff
This is the reverse of the previous point. If your ex doesn’t have a lot of stuff and isn’t mad at you, they might tend to hoard it.
You can text to request that they come by so you don’t have to wait for them.
They are clinging to every ounce of you, pretending to be above you.
You might find them smelling your shirt and crying over it before you go to sleep.
Are you looking for something romantic or creepy? We report, you decide.
5. They will go to any lengths to help you
Although it sounds contradictory to point 4, it is not. Sometimes, if your ex doesn’t love you, they will fight.
They don’t pretend to be happy or help you in any way, but they will do everything they can to ruin it.
What would you do if you were not interested in preserving someone’s life?
You might be able to (if so, this is something you should consider).
However, it is possible that someone will go out of their way for knock-down phone fights, fights in person, texting fights, and other unloadings of angry venom at you every chance they get.
You might be trash talked to by them. It’s still a show. It’s there to grab your attention and make you feel the same way as they do. In this way, you can hopefully start to rethink everything and open yourself up to reconciliation.
They don’t have a problem with you — they are within a country mile.
6. It’s all puppy dog eyes when they’re with you
If your ex wants to continue getting together with you, and if they do so, under what pretext and they are making long eye contact with you.
Perhaps even gently touching your arm and other obvious tells.
Your ex may be looking at you steadily in hopes that you will look back.
Relight the fire that you once had.
You might not be aware of it. They want to have you back.
7. You feel like you’re living in Soviet Russia
Strange things can happen when your ex isn’t over you.
Friends you have never spoken to suddenly start sending you messages, trying to befriend or ask how you are doing.
A colleague at work gives you a push and then makes a comment about Sara. Man, she was cool. You might have tried to talk things through with her. It might still work out in the end.
Wait, what? You have never told your coworker about her.
You are now invited to the world of informants and spies, which can occur when your ex isn’t over you.
They will send all kinds of messages and signals to find out where you are.
Be honest and normal, but don’t reveal too much to strangers. This could cause your ex to lose their trust and make a bad impression.
You can’t have them back if you don’t want to.
8. Need advice tailored to your particular situation?
This article focuses on the signs that your ex is trying to control you. However, it’s a good idea to talk to a relationship coach to discuss your situation.
A professional relationship coach can offer advice that is specific to your life and experiences.
Relationship Hero is a website where highly-trained relationship coaches can help people with complicated or difficult relationships, such as getting your ex back. This is a popular resource for those who are facing this kind of problem.
What do I need to know?
When I was going through a difficult time in my own marriage, I reached out. They helped me to see the dynamics of my relationship after I was lost in my thoughts for so many months.
My coach was so kind, compassionate, and helpful.
You can reach a certified relationship coach in just minutes and receive tailored advice.
Click here to get started
9. You have been blocked, erased and removed… mostly
If your ex-partner is trying to get over you, they might block you from their social media networks and delete photos of you both. However, one or two photos may remain.
Are you just nostalgic?
Is it possible that they left you unblocked on Instagram by accident, even though you were blocked everywhere else?
Don’t kid yourself. You may still harbor a part of your ex that hopes you can make amends.
10. They continue to follow their old routine
What do you think? This is what you might think. You might think so.
It’s possible that they are still going to the same yoga class, still drinking at the same bar every Saturday, or still visiting the same cafe Monday mornings where they first met. This is a radar signal inviting them to return into their lives.
You should also remember that they may be very strict about their schedule so don’t read too much into it.
If they appear to be “bumping into” you at all times and places, and trying to keep you from distance,
You might not want your ex to be your ex.
11. They send long messages to you
If your ex doesn’t want to be with you anymore, they may still wish to stay in touch. You may receive long, winding messages from your ex that seem to show a lot of emotion and thought.
They won’t be over you.
They are on your mind.
You are in their contact list.
Except you don’t want to be a scumbag and block them, you are also going to be the one reading their latest version of War and Peace every night on your smartphone.
12. They want to discuss the reasons behind your split.
This is a similar situation to the previous point, but more specific. You keep getting calls from your ex asking for information about the reason you split.
It is common to want to learn more or find out why it is happening.
You can be certain that the person you once loved is still there when you feel like reciting your position 100 times.
13. They are only thinking about the future
It’s not that your ex doesn’t want to love you again. Your past relationships have shown you how strong their feelings can sometimes be.
Perhaps your problem is not trying to reconcile with your ex, but a closed mind. They have already made a decision not to give you another chance.
This is the emotional wall that you must climb.
Your ex may be pretending to be mad at you, but really wants to get back together. They have stopped looking at the past and all the baggage it brings.
This is why it’s so important.
Scientists recently discovered something interesting about human nature. Our minds are 80% focused on the future when we’re relaxed. While we spend some time reflecting on the past and focusing our attention on the present, most of the time, we are actually thinking about the future.
James Bauer, a relationship expert, says that the key to changing how your ex feels about you is to change how they see you again in their lives.
You can’t convince them to try again. Logical reasoning will not work as you only reinforce the same painful emotions that drove them away.
It’s human nature to counter arguments when someone tries convincing you of something.
Instead, change the way they feel. How? Change their emotions and they will see a new way of being with you.
James Bauer demonstrates how to change the way you feel about your ex in this honest video. He gives you the text messages you can send and the things you can say to trigger something deep within them.
You can paint a new picture of your life together and they won’t be able to resist.
14. Your new partner hates your with a vengeance
It can be obvious that your ex is dating someone new, even though it may seem obvious at first.
But not so quickly.
It’s possible that your ex is putting a lot of negative comments about you online or in person by their new partner. This could be a sign that your ex has been feeding her or his new love interest with stories about how horrible you are.
If your ex goes out with their crush and looks at you as if you are drowning kittens for a living, you can bet that your ex isn’t mad and still has a lot of heartbreak.
15. Late-night phone calls from emotional or drunk people
While this might be a reason to stop their number, it is also a sign they don’t have complete control over you.
Drunken calls or late-night ramblings that sound more like “please give me another chance” or “sorry I had to end things I want you back” can be a sign of weakness.
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